Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Momma Bird

A mockingbird has decided the little tree right off our front porch is the perfect place for her nest. She worked for weeks preparing this intricate nest, sitting on her eggs and getting ready for her young ones. Now the eggs have hatched and she busies herself all day bringing food to them and caring for them.

As I looked out early this morning she was sitting in the nest with them and all was quiet. The minute Momma Bird flies off, the crying begins. Her little ones call and call for her until she returns. With every return, she brings them food and works to provide for them all day long. She diligently protects these helpless ones from predators.

As an expectant mom, I worked, prepared, and waited for my little ones to arrive. When they first came home seemingly all of my time was spent feeding, nurturing and caring for them. As they grew older, my time was spent molding their character, teaching them love, kindness, sharing, teaching them about Jesus. Now my role as a mom has changed yet again. Now I'm loving, guiding and nurturing from a bit of a distance. They're becoming more independent and needing my presence less and less. They still need me for sure, but my constant presence isn't necessary.

Just like the Momma Bird, this Momma has moved to more of a protection role. My job is to help my children make decisions about their future, about their friends, about their education, etc. that will serve them well later in life. My job is to protect them and help them make godly decisions on their own.

I must tell you this is the most difficult phase for me. When they were younger, mothering was more demanding. This is just plain difficult. It's difficult to watch them make choices I would rather they not have to make yet. It's difficult to see them make bad decisions, even though they seem so trivial at this point in their lives. Trying to raise godly, passionate, strong, loving children isn't easy especially when I'm less than godly, passionate, strong, and loving due to the exhaustion from CIDP.

Thankfully the Lord "gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." Isaiah 40:29. In times like these, I'm holding fast to the remainder of Isaiah 40 which says, "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall: but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

"Lord, thank you for blessing me with three beautiful children. Help me to raise them as I know they are not mine, but yours. Amen."

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Do You Remember?

Do you remember the day you first felt Jesus in your life? Did your heart race?

Do you remember the feeling when you first knew He was real?

Do you remember the day you finally said, "Okay, my life is yours?"
Were there tears of joy?

Do you remember the day you said you wanted to belong to Him always? Did you feel as if heaven was close enough to reach out and touch it?

Do you remember the day you shared with others your decision to follow Jesus?

Do you remember the exact moment you were washed in the waters of baptism? Did you feel His love wash over you? Remember?

I remember as if it was yesterday. It was a day I'll never forget. It was actually after midnight during the summer. My husband and I were both baptized in a friend's swimming pool here in Corpus. The beginning of a new life, a new walk together with Jesus. Even in the middle of the night, friends and family shared in the event and it was amazing. I had watched these friends live out their faith in front of me for awhile. Jesus became real to me through them. (BTW, Who's watching you?)

My excitement and privilege to be a child of God is the same today as it was that day in the swimming pool. My passion for Him has grown and will burn within me until the day He comes again. My challenge for you today is to live out your passion for Christ daily. Let your faith in Christ be vibrant, outrageous, alive...live out loud!

Share your "moment" with me! What do you remember about the day you became His? I'd love to hear your story!


Saturday, June 7, 2008

When You Look At Me

Please continue to leave your comments on keeping your marriage strong with chronic illness!

Today's post is meant to be honest and authentic, but in NO way is it a pity party. I wouldn't trade my life for anything. This is just something I wrote in my journal awhile back. Let me know what you think.

When You Look At Me

* You see my smile...What you don't see is a choice. I don't always feel like smiling but I'm choosing to live a life of joy despite this illness.

* You see a woman who is dressed and wearing makeup...What you don't see are the days when this just isn't possible for me because on those days, I hide from you.

* You see that my hair is "done"... What you don't see is that even on a good day, raising my arms over my head to dry my hair is nearly impossible.

* You see my expanding waistline...What you don't see is my search for healthy food I can actually eat without annoying migraines and nausea.

* You see a body without muscle tone...What you don't see is that if I exercise, I'll be unable to get through the day with my kids.

* You see someone who moves slowly and cautiously, perhaps even lazily...What you don't see is my lack of balance and my struggle to even pick up my feet when I walk.

* You see a woman who likes to wear flip flops...What you don't see is the pain and discomfort of wearing shoes on most days.

* You see someone too lazy to cook for her house guests...What you don't see is I'd rather spend time visiting with you than using all my strength just preparing you a meal. I love having you in my home and spending time with you.

* You see chubby fingers...What you don't see is painful joint inflammation.

* You see a round, puffy face with awkward features...What you don't see are the steroids that saved my life at one point or the fear of having to return to steroids one day.

* You see a casually dressed woman...What you don't see is my constant search for inexpensive clothes without buttons or snaps that are hard to grip or my search for natural fibers that don't burn my skin.

* You see my trembling hands and think I'm nervous...What you don't see is the demyelination occurring in my body that has nothing to do with being nervous.

* You see my busy lifestyle...What you don't see are the days I have to stay home in bed.

*You see a strong, self-confident woman...What you don't see is a weak woman made strong only through the power of Jesus Christ who is full of hope!

What do we see when we look at you? What do we not see?

Blessings, Kristen