Saturday, March 14, 2009


When I was first diagnosed with CIDP, the future was incredibly scary and uncertain. I couldn't count on much...other than change. Changes in medication, treatment, changes in my ability, strength, changes in everything. One thing I wasn't expecting though were the surprises. If you live with chronic illness, you know the surprises I'm referring to.

I was surprised to find that others didn't see me as the same woman anymore. I was now the one who couldn't have lunch at the drop of a hat or the mom who couldn't make a sandwich for her three year old. I was no longer the same woman in the eyes of others. Surprise!

I soon found out who would surprise me as well. Who was it that loved me just for being ME and who loved me for the person I used to be? Family would be my biggest surprise. The strength my mom showed was unimaginable, but the ignorance of others I loved dearly was devastating. Their reaction to me still hurts to this very day. Surprise!

Perhaps the biggest surprise of all came out of nowhere. The biggest surprise was hope, refreshing hope. Even when faced with a rare disease I was filled with an inexplicable hope. Even when family and friends reacted in fear and ignorance, I was filled with hope. Hope for a cure, hope for remission, hope for relief from pain, hope I would again feel my hands and feet, hope for something bigger and more meaningful than just my simple existence, hope for eternity in heaven.

I pray right now you are living a life filled with refreshing hope. A hope that washes over you like a fresh rain. A hope that quenches a thirst deep within you. A hope that comes only from a relationship with Jesus.

Refreshing hope...what a beautiful surprise!


Sally said...

What an inspiring message of hope! It surprises me that you can voice my feelings so well! Thank you!

David Hines said...

Thanks Kristen and Sally-

Without Hope we don't have much and you two are pillars of Hope!

David Hines

Michele Williams said...

Without Hope we have nothing to look forward too.... I really enjoyed your post. Thank you for sharing this wonderful surprise. Blessings,

Michele Williams

LisaC said...

So glad you participated in our Blog Carnival. I think you are truly inspiring and we'd be good friends if we lived closer :)

J. said...

Good for you! Happy to see this on the Carnival Blog site!
God Bless!
Praying for you-

Cyndi said...

Thank you for sharing about the surprises of chronic illness, especially the supernatural surprise of hope! I have rheumatoid arthritis so I can relate. Great post!

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