In another attempt to organize my life *grin* I came across an old journal entry dated May 7, 2008. Sharing that with you probably tells you how unorganized I really am! Because this journal entry is a reflection of life with chronic illness, I'm posting it here.
May 7, 2008
Field trip today with DiMarco's class to Austin. We had a great time together. He's such a fun, sensitive, loving guy and I just love spending time with him. We started our day at 4 a.m. Makes me nauseous to get up this early. We chartered buses which was nice so we didn't have to drive. Needless to say the bus was filthy and disgusting, but all the parents rode on one bus making it much quieter than riding with noisy fourth graders!
Arrived in Austin. Went to Bob Bullock Museum for my first time. Great museum, but lots of stairs. I mean LOTS of stairs. I started out great, but cratered eventually. Sent DiMarco on with his group and just hung back...couldn't keep up. I was okay though because DiMarco wanted me just to "be" there.
Then off to the Cap. Building...beautiful detail and architecture. More stairs...no really, more stairs than you could possibly imagine. Lagging WAY behind now, getting a little teary-eyed and then DiMarco said, "Hey Mom...come over here and let's stop and take pictures." Did he read my mind? We stopped and took pictures and I don't remember what we started laughing about, but we laughed hysterically until tears were streaming down our cheeks! My exhaustion was a distant memory. Then more stairs, but I just kind of meandered around and went at my own (snail's) pace reminding myself this was all for my son.
We ate lunch on the beautifully manicured grounds outside State Cap. Bldg. Moms brought blankets and spread them on the grass, but I knew if I sat down I wouldn't be able to get back up. How embarrassing that would be. So I ate on a nearby park bench and watched DiMarco and his friends eat and play. All the other moms sat together and for a split second I wondered what they were thinking. Only for a split second. I knew they were probably thinking I was antisocial, but I realized I really didn't care what they thought. I was doing what I had to do to get through this trip and their opinion didn't matter one bit. Truth be told, they didn't have a clue what I was going through. Invisible illness is a blessing and a curse.
DiMarco had a wonderful trip and loved the fact that his Mom was there. I'm exhausted and this will take days to recover from, but I feel such a sense of accomplishment. I certainly don't enjoy this level of exhaustion, but I DO enjoy the fact that despite CIDP, I did it! I made it and was there for my son. As we loaded up for the long trip home, DiMarco went to his bus and I went to mine. Before he did, though he said, "Mom, this was a great day. I'm so glad you came with us." Ahh...music to a mom's ears! A beautiful melody to the ears of a mom with chronic illness.